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Top 10 Elements of a Charming Muslim Man

  Yup, I went there...

  This is a blog. You can take it with a grain of salt, or you can take it and run.

   This next list is not "Top 10 desirable traits in a husband" or "Top 10 traits that attract women", it's a list brought up after consulting many young women and taking inspiration from the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) that tries to dissect elements of that charming man with a special presence about him. Charming, not prince Charming that is, but as in someone who can be described with adjectives such as "noble", "sharp", "gentle","considerate","engaging" ,"devoted", "thoughtful" and many more of that category. All of these traits fit into one mysterious code that was difficult for us to decipher since we understood the vibe that came with this type of individual and agreed on it, but had a hard time deciding what the basic elements of that vibe was. You will find overlap in this list with the "Top 10 elements of a beautiful Muslima" list. You will also find this list applicable to women as well. That's because we believe character building is independent of gender. Nevertheless, this list is more specifically directed towards men (from young women's perspective) only because that way it can be most relatable and realistic.

  What you'll be surprised to know is that these elements are not physical in nature. Even elements like humour and confidence are not included. Some things are a matter of personality differences and thus we didn't think could be basic elements. We all agreed on material success and physical attractiveness as hardly an indicator of this vibe we spoke of. We tried to dissect elements of particular men who stood out in character to us. The ordering is not nearly as important as the full incorporation of all the elements.

Here's our list of top 10 elements of a charming Muslim man:

10. Not afraid to smile:

   His smile nearly never leaves his face and it's directed to everyone. Not in a creepy way or anything. But in a compassionate way to young and elderly alike. A smile is a symbolic act of vulnerability because it often calls for reciprocation which can be an intimidating and scary thought so we avoid it sometimes. But that's why it's charity and this man knows this very well and isn't afraid of being vulnerable or appearing "feminine" to others because his smiles and salams are first and foremost, directed to Allah (subhanahu wa ta'laa).

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "When you smile to your brother's face, it is charity."

9. Understands the significance of language:

  Knows the power of language on others and chooses persuasion over assertion of opinion. Does not need to use foul language to make a point either. Speaks on point and is articulate.

  Persuasion was a fundamental tool that the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to correct his companions’ mistakes. It is reported that a man from Banu Fazarah came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said: 'My wife has given birth to a black boy' - and he wanted to disown him. He said:

         'Do you have camels?'

         He said: 'Yes.'

         Prophet (pbuh) said: 'What color are they?'

         He said: 'Red.'

         Prophet (pbuh): 'Are there any gray ones among them?

         He said: 'There are some gray camels among them.'

         Prophet (pbuh): 'Why is that do you think?'

         He said: 'Perhaps it is hereditary.'

         Prophet (pbuh): 'Perhaps this is hereditary.' And he did not permit him to disown him. (An-Nasa’i)

  What I find fascinating in this particular example is the method in which the prophet (pbuh) chose to relay this piece of information. He issued questions which gave the man a sense of control and asked for his opinion regarding the matter with "why is that do you think?" He also mirrored the words of the man saying "perhaps this is hereditary" which gives a sense of relatedness and results in effective persuasion. Also, using the word "perhaps" keeps the issue open to discussion. No mind games here. Since the prophet (pbuh) could have easily given him a one sentence response and there could have been nothing wrong with that. But he was gentle subhanallah and knew the power of language on others.

8. Is generous:

   Relax. No one's talking about your wallet. Although these times are tough on all of us and those who are able to give zakat have their reward with Allah (subhanahu wa ta'laa). Generosity lies with one's ability to give time and effort to others' concerns or needs. A man who is willing to sacrifice from what he has in time, wealth and energy into others for the sake of Allah and not for his own egocentric desires naturally possesses a vibe of positive energy that drives people to want his company. Oftentimes, we confuse our intentions and perhaps without realizing it, carry out favors for others or share our knowledge in the pursuit of appearing in a good light. The way to know whether you fall into that category is to ask yourself of how often you help out someone in need or share knowledge when it is of inconvenience to you. And when no one is watching.

 "Never will you attain the good [reward] until you spend [in the way of Allaah] from that which you love..."[Quran 3: 92]     

Narrarated Abdullah bin Umar: Allah Apostle (Prophet Muhammad pbuh) said, "a Muslim is a brother of another Muslim, so he should not oppress him, nor should he hand him over to an oppressor. whoever fulfilled the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfill his needs; whoever brought his (Muslim) brother out of a discomfort, Allah will bring him out of the discomforts of the Day of Resurrection, and whoever screened a Muslim, Allah will screen him on the Day of Resurrection." (Sahih Bukhari)

7. Comfortable with expressing his feminine side:

    Is comfortable enough with his character to know that possessing traits or asserting behavior typically ascribed to women does not make him less of a man. Because his manhood is not tied to gender stereotypes.

   The Prophet's beloved wife, A'ishah, said of her selfless husband :

"He always joined in household chores and would at times mend his clothes, repair his shoes and sweep the floor. He would milk, tether and feed his animals."(Bukhari)

6. Has little to hide:

   A man who doesn't have a wall up on display is quite comfortable with his faults as well as his merits. He does not mask his true feelings in order to appear masculine and is a transparent honest communicator. Recognizing one's insecurities and being confident expressing vulnerability has an appeal like nothing else. This is not about revealing everything because there are some things which should stay private between you and Allah (subhanu w ta'laa). But it's about acknowledging it exists and not being ashamed of these flaws and being open to working on ourselves for the sake of Allah that matters. Not anyone's opinion.

Abdullah Ibn Masoud (May allah be pleased with him) related, `A man came to the Prophet and said: `O Messenger of Allah! I have mingled with a woman in the far side of al-Medina, and I fulfilled my desire short of actually having sexual intercourse with her. So, here am I, judge me according to what you decide.' Umar Ibn al-Khattab (May allah be pleased with him) then said: `Allah had kept your secret, why did you not keep your secret?' [Sahih Muslim]

 This man came to the prophet (peace be upon him) with an embarrassing fact that he was ashamed of. However, he had enough taqwa and fear of Allah to expose this secret in order to get a shot at repentance and to figure out the truth and the punishment for his actions. We find out later that this act in itself was unnecessary, but seeing this man put Allah's judgement first and foremost before his reputation and ego says something.

It was narrated that Aslam, the freed slave of 'Umar ibn al-

Khattab (4^,) said: "Some merchants came to Madeenah and camped

in the prayer-place. 'Umar said to 'Abdur-Rahman ibn 'Awf, 'Shall

we go and guard them tonight?' He said, 'Yes.' So they guarded them

overnight. They prayed and 'Umar heard a child crying. He went

towards him and said to his mother, 'Fear Allah and look after your

child.' Then he went back to his place. At the end of the night, he

heard the child crying again, so he went to his mother and said to her,

'Woe to you, what a bad mother you are! Why has your child not

stopped crying all night?' She said, 'O' slave of Allah, I am

distracting him from nursing but he refuses to accept that.' He said,

'Why?' She said, 'Because 'Umar does not give a stipend except to

children who are weaned.' 'Umar had allocated a stipend to every

child who was weaned. He said, 'How old is this son of yours?' She

said, 'So many months.' He said, 'Woe to you, do not hasten to wean

him.' When he prayed Fajr, the people could not hear his recitation

clearly because of his weeping. He said, 'Woe, to 'Umar, how many

of the Muslims' children has he killed?' Then he ordered a caller to

cry out: 'Do not hasten to wean your children, for we will give a

stipend to every child bom in Islam, ' and he wrote instructions to that

effect to all regions."

  Notice the transparent nature of Umar Ibn AlKhattab who was known for his strength yet was sensitive to other's needs and did not let his reputation mask his true feelings. His ability to admit his mistakes is also inspiring.

5. Practices gentleness:

 

   Practices gentleness with women, elderly and children. It quite easy for people to figure out who's doing it for show and who really means it. But at the end of the day, your intention is yours and other people's opinions shouldn't effect your treatment.

   

 

Whenever the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) passed by children, he tried to be the first to greet them and say “Assalaamu Alaikum.” When riding he would let children sit on his camel or donkey. 

In some prayers, the Prophet (peace be upon him) read long Surahs. But if he heard a baby crying, he would read a short Surah and say a short prayer.

Prophet (peace be upon him) used to teach children that failure doesn't exist. Narrated Anas: "I served The Prophet for ten years, and he never said to me, "Uf" (a minor harsh word denoting impatience) and never blamed me by saying,"Why did you do so or why didn't you do so?" (Sahih Albukhari)

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) loved to play with children. He made them stand in a straight line, then he himself stood at a distance, spread his hands and told the children, “Come running to me. Whoever touches me first will get a prize,” they would all come, running and breathless. When they reached the Prophet (peace be upon him), they would fall all over him. He enjoyed this sport, gave prizes of dates and sweets to the winners and hugged and kissed the participants.

4. Grounded belief:

   Muslim men do not necessarily need to have an indicator of their religion in their dress. While many sisters would argue that this is easier on them, it comes with its own disadvantages. A Muslim woman can wear a higab and a long dress and in this way becomes a symbol of Islam to the public and her behavior can oftentimes be associated with her religion whether or not this is the case. This makes issues such as gender relations for example much easier for her since men know not to shake her hand or make inappropriate gestures towards her. I say this because a Muslim man may have a harder time asserting his beliefs and integrating them into his lifestyle. The key solution to this issue is consistency. A man who has confidence in his core beliefs and is consistent in his treatment and behaviour, regardless of who he encounters, wears his Islam on his sleeve and that becomes his label.

3. Knows when to be dominant and when to relinquish control:

    This point is very similar to number 3 in the "Top 10 elements of a beautiful Muslima". It also means taking some matters with a sense of ease and flexibility. Being ready to take control when you are needed and when circumstances ask for your assistance is a great thing to have. It's also pretty awesome if a man also knows when to relinquish control and let others try things on their own. Even when deep down inside, he knows he's a better fit for the job. This is very much related to number 1, but don't peek just yet.

2. Passion and thirst for knowledge:

    Now is my chance to bust a myth running around. Some may assume that the degree/career of an individual is a direct indication of their character. So one with a more prestigious degree is perceived as more competent or eligible in the eyes of others. That's actually not the case. All of  the women I spoke to agreed on this. A degree is nice to have under your belt for your future and for financial purposes. But the "charming" man we speak of won't be made with a degree. That secret ingredient is passion. Passion to take on a meaningful purpose with a goal in mind. Ultimately the goal must be oriented towards serving Allah (subhanahu wa ta'laa) and we agree on getting married, having a career and starting a family as not falling under the passion category. A man who has a selfless passion wants to leave behind something in this life for future generations and is willing to go as far as sacrificing his lifetime for this passion. He also has no time for senseless drama and how he is perceived by society. He has a vibe of focused positive energy and he brings this energy into his family. Passion must come with a thirst for knowledge as well. This man reads books. The Quran being his number one book.

“Read! In the Name of your Lord Who has created (all that exists).

He has created man from a clot (a piece of thick coagulated blood).

Read! And your Lord is the Most Generous.

Who has taught (the writing) by the pen.

He has taught man that which he knew not”

[al-‘Alaq 96:1-5] 

“It is only those who have knowledge among His slaves that fear Allah”

[Faatir 35:28] 

 The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “When a man dies, all his deeds come to an end except for three – an ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge or a righteous son who will pray for him.” (Muslim)

1. Modesty: 

  Arrogance can kill any character. So it's our number one. To add to the point from the previous list, modesty can mean taking time to listen with the heart. The prophet (peace be upon him) used to direct his whole body towards who was speaking to him and would not turn his face away or leave the meeting before the other did. How many times in our life did we kneel down for a child, look him in the eye and let him speak?

 Arrogance can come in unexpected forms. For example, a woman visits her friend's modest home and begins bragging about the thousands of dollars she spent on her wedding. That is one indirect way of expressing arrogance. It's always important to be mindful of the person we are speaking to as much as possible.

  In surat elkahf, it tells a story of a man who Allah has blessed with green fields and good fortune in which one of them stated that it would never perish. This is arrogance towards Allah (subhanahu wa ta'laa) which was labeled as shirk when he put himself and his fortune before Allah's might. The story of the prophet Musa (Alayhi asslam) and Al-Khidr also teaches us about never being too sure and too proud in the face of Allah.

“Musa said to him (Khidr): “May I follow you so that you teach me something of that knowledge (guidance and true path) which you have been taught (by Allah)? But no one knows its true meanings except Allah” (Alkahf, 18:66)

Top 10 Elements of a Beautiful Muslima

     
    I wish to find another word besides "beautiful" for this list. I need a word that hasn't been abused and misused. Nowadays, "beautiful" means that woman with the physical appeal of a cartoon barbie. Narrow waist, baby features, long hair and a thin figure. How limiting...

     I need a word that combines adjectives like "glowing", "intriguing", "magnificent", "enchanting", "mesmerizing", "engaging", "captivating", "loving", "endearing", "sensitive", "charming" and "devoted" ... okay you get me. We're not talking about the usual characteristics here. What makes a woman sparkle from the rest? So I set to figure this out driving inspiration from the great women who lived among the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and from the prophet himself, from women around me and from my deepest desires in who I aspire to become. We could easily touch on elements such as confidence, honesty, respect, care etc... But I wanted to send a very specific list to make the image more vivid and close to home. I also had a hard time ordering these elements. I only did it to make this more engaging but all of them should be incorporated into one description.

   You could argue this list is unachievable or may not reflect who you are as a person. I don't agree with changing for anyone, or any list in this case, either. But perhaps we can make our own interpretation of this list according to our desires and to suit our personalities. What limits us from our potential is most of the time, ourselves. There's a voice inside of us that tells us we're not good enough or that this is not something for me. But remember, that this is the same method employed by Shaitan (the devil). The moment we decide to leave our bad habits and seek greater closeness to Allah (subhanahu w ta'laa), he tells us we're hypocrites and this is not who we really are. Allah, the All Mighty can forgive and give us a second chance, so why don't we do ourselves the favor by forgiving ourselves and starting anew. They say "fake it till you make it", I heard a TEDX speaker say "fake it till you be it".


Here's my list to describe the elements of the golden lady:


10. Smiles with her eyes:

      Is animated with honest facial expression. Psychology tells us the truth is in the eyes. A smiling woman whose eyes say more than her words has an appeal like no other. A woman whose expressions in general are a true indication of her feelings has a charisma and charm about her that can't be faked. If you can't get yourself to smile in everyone's face in this manner then you don't have to. If you don't feel it, don't express it. But if you do, make it known.

9.  Is clever and witty:

     Has a sharp tongue that speaks on point. But never in intention of hurting anyone. This woman knows the value of time and uses words from her lexicon to speak truth and righteousness  She is never "chatty" and trying constantly to fill silence with talk. Added bonus if she's spontaneous and unpredictable.

    Bukhari narrated a Hadith in which Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said ‘The Prophet’s talk [was so little] that you can count his words’ (peace be upon him)

8. Has an element of mystery:

    She always leaves people guessing. Not intentionally or anything. But perhaps because she has a clear barrier set between what is personal and what is public. With social media, she never reveals inappropriate information about her relationships, feelings and desires. She has an appreciation for artistic expression and she may have some hidden talents. Basically, with every sit-down with this woman, comes new discoveries. Never in a boastful manner.

7. Says what she feels and never exaggerates:

    Says only what her heart senses. Won't say "I love you" when she doesn't feel it and will vice versa express, the moment of, whenever she appreciates something. A woman who can honestly compliment others without exaggeration and in private as well as public demands respect. There is nothing more irritating than when intentions are hidden and the person in front of you cannot be read. But before we go pointing fingers, we have to acknowledge our faults first and where we can go about being more honest. 

6. Does not seek validation:

    Other people's approval does not effect her opinion of herself. Is motivated by her devotion to Allah and acts according to what is permissible in her religion first, then consults herself and maybe her dear friends and family. When she seeks to accomplish something, does it fearlessly and waits for no one to pat her on the back. Her reward (ajr) lies with Allah (subhanahu wa ta'laa). Validation for other things that are physical are insignificant to her self-concept. If she's a physically attractive lady, will not let anyone's compliments sway her from differentiating herself from the rest and losing sight of her humanity.
    
5. An effective communicator:

   A smart woman is able to adjust her language to suit whomever she in communicating with.   Meaning she can speak and behave with others on a relatable level without sacrificing any of her core values or personality characteristics. The prophet (peace be upon him) was able to communicate with all age groups at their level, but never in a patronizing manner. It can be as simple as choosing speaking points that are interesting to the other. The prophet (peace be upon him) used to ask Abu Umair, who was a young boy at the time, about his bird every time they would meet. There's nothing more beautiful than a woman who can have the easiness of a child when she is in their company.

  “He (PBUH) was merciful to children; Anas said, “I have never seen anyone kinder to one’s family than God’s Messenger…” There was a young child called Abu Umair who was breeding a small bird; the Prophet called the bird An-Nughair (nightingale) and he used to say to him: “O Abu Umair!  What did An-Nughair do?”  Once, Abu Umair was crying and the Prophet asked him why he was crying. He told the Prophet that An-Nughair, the bird, had died!  The Prophet (PBUH) played with Abu Umair in Medina streets. Passing by, the Companions saw the Prophet playing with a child and asked what he was doing!  He (PBUH) said that An-Nughair had died; he wanted to console Abu Umair.  He played with Abu Umair who was grieiving over his bird’s death!  Abu Umair was the brother of Anas ibn Malik, the Prophet’s servant!  He (PBUH) went to his servant’ house to console his younger brother!  How merciful!”

4. Confidence in core values:

   Confidence is always key. Yet, it does not have to be present in every aspect of our personality traits. A woman who has confidence in her core values and morals and does nothing to compromise them demands respect. She never makes exceptions on matters that are not permissible in her faith. This seems quite intuitive yet it is more difficult than it seems. For a woman to be consistent in her behavior and treatment with everyone, she must possess a strong sense of self and an independent mind. Our confidence should be made with trust in Allah. The more we trust our Islam and come to appreciate it, the more we realize we have nothing to gain from pleasing others and only from pleasing Allah.

3.Willingness to learn:

    Oftentimes, we become so entrenched in our own "fields of specialty" we lose sight of how much out there we have yet to learn. This can lead to rigidity, stubbornness and sometimes arrogance. A woman who is willing to learn from others who are more and less experienced than she is has something special about her. She can watch her husband, for example, spend hours putting together furniture she is familiar with only to give him hints here and there. She does not need to boast about her knowledge and yet is able to give it when she is needed.  Which reminds me of another example. That thirty year old unmarried professional woman who's got a degree and a job and thinks "men are intimidated by her" or that "she's out of their league". Perhaps we need a new sense of open mindedness and we need to learn how to share knowledge at the appropriate time. 

2. Secret worship:

   Wears her iman on her sleeve, not her tongue. I think that makes my point.

1. Modesty:

   Lack of modesty can break anyone. The ego creeps up on us quite often. I don't believe that there is ever one point in someone's life where they can confidently say that they are a modest person. It is a characteristic that takes consistent work to maintain. We must put ourselves in the shoes of those we meet on a daily basis and ask "did I make them feel less than?" Arrogance in Islam is defined as rejecting the truth and putting oneself at a higher position than the rest.

Abdullah ibn Mas’ud reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “No one who has the weight of a mustard seed of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.” Someone said, “Indeed, a man loves to have beautiful clothes and shoes.” So the Prophet said, “Verily, Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people.”

   A mustard seed?! That could be one look down on your mother, or a child, or a homeless person or a disabled individual. It would be a shame to come so close to the doors of heaven only to have them shut in front of you because you believed once that you were better than anyone else. Keep in mind that arrogance does not pertain to one's dress. Although the prophet (peace be upon him) used to be indistinguishable from the companions that even foreigners had a hard time locating him. 

But, how do we become nonjudgmental and more modest? 

   During the prophet's (peace be upon him) time, there was one man who used to appear drunk to the public in the daytime and the companions at one point wanted to issue him a punishment. The prophet (peace be upon him) addressed them and said "Do not curse him, for I swear by Allah, if you only knew just how very much indeed he loves Allah and His Messenger." 

He then added:

"Do not help Satan against your brother."(Al-Bukhari)

  Let us realize that Allah's mercy is vast and never ending. Only He has the power to conceal our faults and forgive us on the day of judgement. Some of us who judge others for sinning have put themselves at a high status, thinking that they are fairer than Allah (subhanahu wa ta'laa). When we judge, we judge others for their exposed sins while we ourselves have hidden sins that would shame us if they were to ever be exposed to the world. Always thank Allah for his mercy on us and always have mercy on others. Leave the judging to Him.

8 reasons why you should start working on a note to leave behind when you die

      Only suicidal people do this right? Is it only suicidal people who can contemplate death? Why can't we use a simple note to deliver a message behind for our loved ones? Ever thought of how much power that note can hold? Suicide notes have the power to influence a whole nation to action and unfortunately in some cases, to provoke lifetime guilt. It can also be a sharp method of closure and conflict resolution. Allow me to explain:

     Your long time school friend who has been subject to countless bullying committed suicide. The family is devastated and hundreds, maybe thousands gather to honor his/her death. The school informs the students and takes a few moments in silence to commemorate this terrible tragedy and maybe mentions the harmful implications of bullying. Accounts on Facebook and other social media are opened and owners of these accounts put in full time and effort into managing them out of love for this individual. Everyone is emotionally driven by this tragic event, perhaps setting up an initiative in his/her name. His bullies are reminded by the world of how terrible they are, and they may be sent into long term depression as a result. There was also a suicide note left behind, solidifying the motivating factors behind the death and sending shocking waves of regret, remorse, guilt and perhaps solidarity.

     We tend to live this life trying to grasp the next moment. Not realizing that we may not be privileged enough to live till that moment. So we seem constantly anxious, never satisfied with the status quo and we forget that we are blessed to be as we are right now; alive and breathing. The concept of death seems so distant and far away. After all, we've got enough time, right? To pursue that dream job or to have children or to develop a closer relationship with God. So we procrastinate and throw the present moment away. 


Take care in your minutes, and the hours will take care of themselves.  -Chesterfield, Lord

 So what's the solution then? 

     To consistently remind ourselves of death and the true significance of this life. Sounds unnecessary and depressing? Perhaps not. It is from the closure of the realization of our short time here on this earth that our link to God is strengthened and our minutes become truly important for our preparation to meet the Creator. On a side note, I do genuinely believe that those with the sensitivity to shed tears for the small things also have the greatest ability to love and be happy and to be sensitive to the concept of death is in itself strength and can be a powerful tool to live with.

"الذين اذا اصابتهم مصيبة قالوا انا لله وانا اليه راجعون" 

"Who, when a misfortune overtakes them, say: 'Surely we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return'." 
- Quran, Sura Al-Baqara, Verse 156


Here's why I think you should start writing your own note to leave behind:


1. A constant reminder of your true purpose: 

     Once you begin writing, you will not be satisfied with one sit down. You would want this note to be perfect and as up to date as possible (sounds creepy). This results in a constant reminder of your tie to heaven and the earth. Realizing you may not have much time to leave a mark in this world will leave you wanting to start the change you wish for today.

2. A method of channelling grief and guilt into action: 

     We tend to remember and honor people once they pass away rather than to remind them of how much they mean to us when they were around. So naturally, people tend to feel guilt for not spending enough time and not being thoughtful enough or perhaps the guilt is directed towards one person who was driving, for example, and survived the accident while the other did not. Addressing those who feel guilty will give them closure and might leave a positive effect rather than a negative one. Those who grieve can be motivated to positive action through prayer, charity and other efforts. You may also leave a specific wish for people to carry out in your honor. It is important that these efforts never sway from God's worship and devotion. This is not a celebrity project.

3. A reminder to those still living: 

     Quite simply stated as is. A reminder to those who are still living to remember God and to come to grips with their true purpose once more.

4. Can resolve old age interpersonal family conflict:

     You may leave behind a wish for people to reconcile differences or to leave old habits for example. The more personal this is, the greater its effect. This may also be time to reveal to the world what you were afraid to say. But remember, this is never an invitation to ricochet a chain of negative conflict as a result or to provoke more guilt. It is important to keep the message as positive as possible. It's up to you to decide what secrets you want to reveal. But be careful.

5. To leave a legacy behind that serves you and others for the hereafter: 

     Whatever positive efforts get left behind from your influence will count in your bank of good deeds and in theirs. We thank God for His mercy to grant us this second chance even after our death.

6. To never take any moment for granted: 

     Normally when we write, we prepare to publish or pass it on in a recent time. This feeling can drive the note to be more effective by reminding you every time you open it of how close death is.

7. Teaches you forgiveness: 

    You might see yourself writing at the beginning with angry sentiments towards some folk. As you age and become wiser and more mature, you will find little reason to keep these ideas as a negative cloud on your remembrance. Getting rid of this will free you from old grudges in sha Allah (God willing).

8. Teaches you to not fear death:

     A person who does not fear death will do just about anything. If death is the worst thing that can happen to you in this life and you've come to grips with it, then the little things can't bother you.

"The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead." - Albert Einstein 

Hat + Higab: Why can't we make it work?

We made higab + makeup work
and higab + earings work
and higab + tights work
and higab + boyfriend work

Hat + Higab = harmless, protects from harsh sunlight and most likely halal.. Where are those higab tutorial ladies at? They can make anything happen.

Dua - Supplication

Start with the 99 names of Allah

http://www.sufism.org/society/asma/

Etiquette for making dua:

http://theislamicworkplace.com/helpful-duas/

O Allah! You have taught and instilled the teachings of the Quran in our minds and our hearts before we were old enough to learn it. Make us one of those who give the Quran its full right and read it with precision and accuracy. Guide us to memorize, learn and teach the lessons of its Aayat. O Allah! Make the Quran blaze our path to guidance and to your jannah and make it our saviour and protector in times of need and on the day of judgement. Make its Aayat brighten us from within your creations, and make it what helps us pass your sirat. We ask that you not blind us from its teachings and make them come with ease inshallah. Ya Allah make us strong enough to never have satisfaction with any replacement.

Ya Allah! We call upon you, the Most Gracious, Most Merciful, to not let any sins not be erased,  any tension to not be released and do not allow for anything we owe to never be returned and for any sick to not be cured. Ya Allah! Do not allow any desire you approve and of which we have a benefit to, never come to us ya Allah ya raheem. You are the most merciful indeed.

O Allah! You are the one who saves whoever needs to be saved. The one not seen by eyes, not described by any thought, not changing by any event. O Allah, all praise to you for what you have made us, blessed us and guided us and saved us. We thank you for the blessing of Islam and the Quraan and for family, wealth and forgiveness. You are the one who purifies the hearts and mends souls together in heaven subhanAllah.

O Allah! You are who we thank for every blessing you have bestowed upon us in the past or future, in secret or public, in death or life.  All praise to you until you are satisfied and when you are satisfied.

O Allah! Protect us with our Islam in all circumstances and situations. Do not bestow upon us any enemy who may take pleasure from our misery and protect us from any evil eye which may be lurking.

O Allah! Reward us with what you have blessed your creations with in sight, hearing and strength. Do not make our deen our biggest fault. Do not make this short life our biggest concern and we take refuge in you from any evil that shows no mercy on us. O Allah! Let us avoid all sins visible and hidden and bless our hearts, parents, spouses, family and brothers and sisters in Islam and erase all our sins ya rab elalameen.

O Allah! Protect us from the day of fear (day of judgement). We take refuge in you from all the evil you have given us the potential to use and all the evil you have hidden from us.

O Allah! Enlighten our hearts with Iman and place love in our hearts for this Islam and put hate in our hearts for any evil deed and disobedience. Gather us on the day of judgement with the Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) and all of his companions. And bless us with shafa’a from the Rasool (pbuh).

O Allah! We ask that you instil fear in our hearts for disobeying you in secret or public and we ask for the word of truth in times of satisfaction and anger and the intent to satisfy you with what you have bestowed upon us in wealth and deprivation. We ask for blessings that never run out and for families that never part and for the desire to meet you in the heavens ya Arham el Rahimeen.

O Allah! I witness that there is no Allah but Allah, and that Mohammed (Peace be upon him) is his prophet. Do not make of us a source of pleasure to the devils.  Do not make us from the ones who are bribed by this life, to feel great regret in the hereafter.

O Allah! Release our innocent from the jails, feed our hungry, clothe our bare, have mercy on our dead and accept our martyrs in Palestine, Egypt, Syria, Tunisia, Bahrain, Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya and anywhere else in this universe.

O Allah! Guide our young to the best of akhlaq (virtues). You are the All Knowing and Most Powerful ya Arham el Rahimeen.

Ameen Ameen Ameen Ya Rabal Alameen

May the blessings of Allaah be bestowed upon the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him

و صلي اللهم على محمد صلى الله عليه و سلم تسليما كثيرا

 The Ego is the toughest tests of God